Praise Report from my mom...

Hello family & friends,

I met with my surgeon this morning at Walter Reed and was given my pathology report. I am cancer free.  No chemo needed.  My lymph nodes, 3 on the right and 1 node taken on the left, all came back clear/negative for cancer.  I had a peasized tumor, clear margins and stage 1 cancer.  I will be on a hormone supplement only.

I am praising the Lord as I write.  Thank you for all of your prayers, calls, emails and notes of encouragement.

I also had 2 of the 4 drain tubes removed and will have the 2 remaining removed next Monday.  I also received another "fill-up" for my tissue expanders so I feel pumped up today in more ways than one.  

I am feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude and praises for what an Awesome God we serve.

I am on the road to recovery.  I am not the same woman who went into surgery as my heart is filled with God's love and compassion, especially for those suffering with cancer.

Now, to get back to my daily walks, but at a slower pace.

Love and hugs to you all,
Anne

Note from Kat....I cried with relief when I heard this news...please let this speak to the power of God and the importance of MRI's.  Please use this as an opportunity to push your health care systems to allow MRI's for ALL high risk women so they can have such a great outcome.

Home Again

So Mom is home again and is back to usual spunky self.  We arrived home from Walter Reed at about 3 pm today.  We were all ready to come home, her more than the rest of us.  After a night full of frequent wakenings she quickly realized she would rather be home in her own bed instead of in a sterile hospital room where you get leg cuffs that squeeze your legs every minute, connected to machines that beep.  Wakened by nurses that are just as tired and clueless as the patient who is still under massive amounts of drugs.  (Just one nurse, the rest were actually great.)  

I decided to spend the night in my mom's room when we realized that the overworked/understaffed floor was going to make it difficult to even get help to the restroom.  As we all know, when you gotta go, you gotta go, and you can't wait 45 minutes for a nurse to come help, but after a major surgery, you are not safe to brave the walk to the restroom alone.  I helped her with my experience in navigating drains, bathroom trips, regular pain meds and sorting out all the various drs. instructions.  She has conveyed several times that she was thankful to have a familiar face to help her navigate through her evening.  Isn't it funny how life's roles take us full circle?

Dad returned home and got some much needed rest after having gotten up very early and waiting around all day for my mom's surgery.  My aunt Mary Rita (Dad's sister) came to the waiting room and spend most of the day engaging my dad in lively conversation to help pass the time.  He was really thankful to have her there.  I arrived to the hospital around 7 pm, after driving straight up from Blacksburg. (about 5 hours).  

It will be 7-10 days for Mom to receive her full pathology report, but all indications now are all that we could have asked for.  She is healing well.  She has very little pain and her spirits are good.  

Please continue to pray for a clear pathology and the right combination of factors that could allow her to skip chemo.  

Thank you for your prayers, she can feel them....

Anne / Mom is out of surgery

Mom came out of surgery at about 4pm and everything went smoothly. There is no visual indications of cancer in the lymph nodes. Please pray that the pathology report confirms that they are cancer-free.

She is feeling some minor discomfort from tightness in the chest, but otherwise is feeling well. (It feels like a sports bra that's way too small.)

I arrived at around 7pm to her room and she was a bit loopy from the drugs but in good spirits. I will update you more later as I get more details.

Please keep praying; she feels your prayers.

Kat

Mom's Surgery Moved to Today

Just wanted to let you all know that Mom's surgery was moved to today because it allowed the surgeon to have more time in the OR. She went under the knife sometime around 9-10 am.  I will update you all later today as I have more details.  PLEASE PRAY for clear nodes, no complications and an easy recovery.  I will let you all know more later.

I am leaving Blacksburg, VA at 1pm to travel up to be with her.  (about a 5-6 hour trip). 

blessings,

Kat

Words from Anne

"There is nothing, no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch me until first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment, but as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what the Lord is."
- Alan Redpath

Update on the pesky other nodes

Jim calls my cancer a very formidable enemy who needs to be taken seriously, confronted and given a death blow.
An update on my ultrasound appt this am.  After doing the ultrasound trying to locate the abnormal lymph node cells, they couldn't do a fine needle aspiration (FNA) as there appeared to be no abnormal or pathological nodes to do a FNA, but since the small cluster of (not totally normal) nodes are buried so deep that the fine needle couldn't get to them, they will go ahead and do a sentinel node dissection on both breasts during surgery.  Good news, bad news.  If they could have done a FNA today and found my nodes were negative, they would know that no more nodes were involved.  Pray for cancer-free nodes on both sides.  I will have to wait for results.  If both sides show negative nodes, which is more than likely on the right side, they will not have to go in and do another surgery to remove all of the auxiliary nodes (I think this is correct)..Kat is concerned about lymphadema even with just 2-3 nodes removed. Dr. Weiss, my medical onocologist at Walter Reed, would be shocked if any positive nodes were found on my right side.  Georgetown concurred that is how they would proceed also, since some raised nodes appeared in the MRI findings.  I am so tired as we left at 7am for a 9:30 appt. at Walter R.and made it just in time due to morning traffic.  The breast center team is top notch, but the drive is a challenge.  Praise God I have access to such a fine facility and team...I could live out in the rural area where options are more limited.  Thank you, one and all, for your prayers and loving words of support.   This is a little c in my life.  Jesus Christ is the big C and is carrying my burdens on His shoulders.
Anne
  

Hey Stupid Cancer...leave my family alone

So I am starting up my blog again.  This time it is for my mom, Anne.  After years of annual mammograms I encouraged  my mom to start getting MRI's after my diagnosis.  For high risk women this is considered the most accurate and valuable diagnostic tool for detecting cancer as early as possible.   Since my mom has had 4 sisters and a daughter with breast cancer, plus she is BRCA2+ she is VERY high risk.  Last year the MRI came back all clean. 

This year...different story.  After the MRI found a suspicious area she had a needle biopsy and was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) the same type of cancer I had two years ago.  Her initial pathology indicates a hormone positive cancer (a good thing) and the aggressiveness is Grade 2 (she has no Stage yet, this is just about the aggressiveness).   This is on a scale of 1-3 so this is the "mid level" of aggressiveness.  This is better than my very aggressive Grade 3 cancer, so a good thing.

My brother Matt & I drove up to Northern VA last friday and I went along with my mom and dad to a full day of doctors (plastic surgeon, radiology oncologist, medical oncologist, psychologist, surgeon)  It was a long day, but having been through this with myself and now helping at least 5 other women navigate this initial post-diagnosis frenzy, I worked to break down the basics for my folks and help them survey their options and questions left unanswered.  

They have decided at this point not to have a formal second opinion because of the logistics involved in going outside the military system.  They have had a Doctor at Walter Reed Army medical center have some of his collegues look at my mom's case, but no formal second opinion at this time.

Her initial surgery (she has opted for a double mastectomy because of the high risk to developing a second cancer in any remaining breast tissue) is set for October 2nd.  

Please pray for these things...

--she has enlarged lymph nodes on the opposite side from her cancer and in any normal situation this would be no big deal, but since she is undergoing cancer surgery, these lymph nodes need to at least be investigated in some way.  Please pray this process will be with as little intervention as possible and please pray for a clear indication that these and ALL OTHER LYMPH NODES ARE CLEAR

--please pray for the decision process of navigating doctors, options, treatments, etc.

--Please pray for the actual surgery, surgeon, anethesia, recovery, pain maintainance. 

--please pray for us as her family:  Dad, Lara, Joe, Kathleen, Matt and our families that we would know how to serve her best, that we would have the emotional strength to endure, support, care, love, laugh and pour out to each other and my mom.

--please pray that all decisions would be clear and without ambiguity.  that the Lord's direction and path would be lit clearly.

Please check back for ongoing updates in my mom's fight.  She's got the boxing gloves on and she will fight.

Kat

Today is my One Year Cancerversary.

One year ago today at 3:30 pm, my life changed forever. I can picture where I was standing, right by the stove in the kitchen of our rental place. Jeff was sitting at the table and the kids were running around playing. I had the full expectation that the Dr. was calling to tell me that the biopsy was fine and the results were negative. Then he said, "I'm sorry, I can't believe it myself, but the results were positive." I remember thinking, "Positive is good, wait no, positive is bad, wait no, is he saying its cancer?" I became numb all over and walked out of the room to collect my thoughts enough to begin asking questions. I knew I would remember very little of what he said from then on so I grabbed a pen and scrap of paper. I said, "I know I won't remember this later, so can you tell me exactly what I need to know right now word for word so I can begin to process this. " He recited a lot of lingo from the pathology. I then asked, "we are going to Disney in a few weeks, can this wait until after we come back?" He then said, "I think it is doubtful you will be taking that trip to Disney, this needs to be dealt with immediately, this is the most aggressive type of cancer."

And with those words, I became a breast cancer survivor. There is much discussion in the breast cancer world as to when you start marking your point at which you went from being an average Joe walking down the street to the "breast cancer survivor." Is it from the point of diagnosis? Is it from the point at which you had you surgery to remove the cancer? Is it when you are done with treatments? Though these are all important milestones, for me I began the process of "surviving" the hour I was diagnosed. If you are thrown into the pool and tread water for a while you don't count your journey from when you are pulled out of the pool, you mark it from when you were thrown into the water.

I had been thinking about this day all week, but today I woke up early to work at Starbucks and didn't think about the date of today until about noon. I don't plan to make a huge deal about it, I guess you could call it a quiet acknowledgment in my heart of what this day means to me. In some ways I am thrilled to be at this place, alive, hair growing back, breasts in process. I remember thinking very early on last year that I couldn't wait to be a year out and looking back on all the stuff that laid ahead at that time. I am also sad that my life is forever changed. I will always wonder if a little ache or pain is the cancer returning. I will always look closer at articles about people diagnosed with cancer or stories about new technologies and treatments. I will from here on out be an oncology patient. No one ever wants to have an oncology Dr. in their rolodex, despite how much I like my doctor.

Since diagnosis, I have done support groups, Relay for Life, Race for the Cure and shared at several events, I will always wear the "survivor" color shirt at these events. I will always look at the driver of a car with a pink ribbon magnet on it and wonder, "how long has she been a survivor? How is she doing?" I will always be able to pick out women wearing wigs, because I have been there and I know the subtle signs. I will always know the best pain killers, anti nausea meds, surgery tricks and quick heals. As nice as it is to share these things for others, I wish I didn't know them.

I will always be able to look in the eyes of another survivor and without saying a word, be able to read the shared pain and fear we share.

Today, I am a one year survivor. Today I feel hope mixed with an anxious future of what the Lord holds in his plan for me. Today, I am so thankful for those who carried me through and the blessings I have each day. Today, I am grateful for another year of life.

Kat

p.s. We did make that trip to Disney last year, just three weeks after my double mastectomy. We purchased an annual pass, because we knew we would return in a year's time to celebrate our victory over cancer. So on Tuesday, June 12th, we leave for Disney, to start that celebration of a long life ahead.

Pictures from the battlefront

Pictures of the President's helicopters flying right over our house.

Pictures from the Prayer Vigil our church held the night of the shootings.

Pictures from the student dinner of 50+ students for InterVarsity on Tuesday night.

Pictures of the media chaos.

Here is my personal photo essay of some of the images from this week. We took all these pictures ourselves. --Kat

Picking up the pieces after tragedy pays an unwelcome visit.

I can't believe its only been 3 days since a madman took the innocence from our town. It feels like we have lived a lifetime in the last few days and our world's have changed.

First, let me start by saying many thanks to your outpouring of notes, emails and love. It is felt here in Blacksburg. I know it is powerless to hear such a major tragedy and not now how you can help, so I will give you two specific ways to help. First, is money. There are two organizations on campus that have been the backbone of some of the counseling and support provided to students and community in the last few days. While holding vigils, dinners, care packages and events are a needed thing, it comes with a financial cost too and these are not rich ministries. So I would like to ask you to consider making a financial donation to either New Life Christian Fellowship (NLCF) or InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.

NLCF is a church that is made up of about 95 % college students. Since students can"t give money or tithe like us working folk can, their financial resources are always being stretched to accomodate a regular attendance of 1,000 students. They have been everywhere this week and they are an amazing outreach to these students. To send a donation a check can be made out to: “NLCF” and send it to PO Box 111 Blacksburg, VA 24060 or you can follow this link: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_xclick&business=nlcfbburg%40gmail%2ecom&item_name=New%20Life%20Christian%20Fellowship&item_number=54%2d1306658&no_shipping=2&no_note=1&tax=0¤cy_code=USD&lc=US&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF&charset=UTF%2d8 and make a credit card donation online.

For InterVarsity, they are a group that I was heavily involved in at William & Mary, came on staff and worked for at Mary Washington and now volunteer with at VA Tech. They have an amazing outreach to students include large group gatherings, small groups and special events. Their staff of 3 has been stretched to its limits this week as they have watched some of their members die in this tragedy and now have to clean up the emotional and spiritual pieces left in its wake. To give to them you can make a donation by following this link: https://my.intervarsity.org/506777a65547e901f8e10b89b1150e52/donate.php Please make sure your donation is directed to "the staff workers at Virginia Tech. "

Second, please keep praying for these students and community. The media locusts will come, feed and leave, but the pain will still linger for a very long time. Some students will not return at all this semester. The school has given the students an option to finish their students online, or take their grade as is, and I know of many students that are taking this option. The community is reeling from the violation of our town. The media has overrun or town, sometimes good, but frankly mostly bad as they have sensationalized this story to sound as if we are a bunch of angry people stomping around demanding answers. In fact it is quite the contrary. Most people have spoken of defending the university and its actions and watching the news you would think otherwise. Jeff and I have had several requests for interviews, between the two of us we have been on a New Zealand radio show, Shepherd Smith's fox news show, requests from CNN, several local stations from different parts of the country and a local morning radio station. We feel the need to share the power of the Lord in the midst of this pain and present a positive message when there is so much negative information out there.

For those of you who have followed my blog from the beginning, you may remember me describing reading the story of Jesus calming the storm right after I was diagnosed. Here is an excerpt from that post:

Jesus is in a boat with some of his disciples. They are trying to fish, he is trying to get some shut-eye. Who knows why he is sleeping, its not like he wasn't a busy guy. Maybe he had had a lot of talks that day, maybe a lot of healings, maybe he had been traveling for days, maybe he was just exhausted from dealing with all the emotional needs and wants of others (boy, haven't we all been there at some point or other) but he was snoozin'. So then all hell brakes loose. A storm (like something out of the perfect storm) hits them like a hurricane. Here's the kicker and the part that recently got to me. JESUS IS STILL ASLEEP! I read that about 2 weeks after my diagnosis and I even wrote a note next to the margin that said, "do I feel like he is still asleep in my storm?" The disciples are in a panic that they will die. (I am in a panic that I will die) and Jesus is still asleep, why???? Here's the good news...If I were asleep and the kids started into panic, but I knew before I fell asleep that this panic would be over nothing and that I was going to fix it just fine when I woke up and (most importantly) if I knew that no harm would come to them during whatever crisis they were experiencing, I might keep sleeping too. That's Jesus. He knew. He knew that the storm was not going to harm them, almost as trivial as when I know that my daughter's life is not going to end when she can't find a hair clip to match her outfit. Why didn't the disciples know? I mean come on, Jesus had healed, calmed and restored endless times for all of them to see. Why didn't I know, I mean Jesus had healed me when I thought Bethany was going to be born way too soon (despite many doctors disbelief), Jesus had calmed me when I was scared about all my boyfriend break-ups, test flunkings, or disappointing someone I cared for. Jesus had restored me when I thought I would never get married, or when someone hurt me. Why didn't I know that he was sleeping in my storm, because he knew I would not be harmed?

I thought a lot about that passage this week. I know there are many families out there feeling like Jesus is asleep in the midst of their storm. Some of you may be wondering when he going to show up to save our country from the wind and the rain, just screaming inside, "JESUS, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED!!!", but you don't feel like he has. Well, I can tell you as one of the people rowing the boat, that if he were a useless God, he would be dead, and he isn't, he is very much alive. He is alive and ready to save us all from the death of the storm. It sure as heck, doesn't feel that way when we are tasting the salt water on our lips and trying to keep our boat upright, but he knows that he will care his children, but sometimes that is in Heaven and not here on earth. Sometimes it is in the awakening we get in our own lives when we confront such a tragedy as this. Sometimes it is in that thankfulness we have for the little moments we have with our family and friends. I loved what the mother of Mary Read said in response to hearing her daughter was killed this week. She said, "I may not understand why God took her when he did, but I am so thankful he allowed us to have her for the time we did." Jesus is weeping alongside all of us this week, and he wants so desperately to have a personal relationship with each of us in this intimate way. That is how I know he is not asleep in the midst of this storm, because he knows he will care for his children.

Please keep praying.
Go Hokies!
Kat

The tragedy at Virginia Tech

I know unless you are living under a rock the last day, you will know that we have had a major tragedy here in Blacksburg, Virginia. I can't even begin to describe for you how this has rocked our little town of Blacksburg. We moved out of Northern Virginia to get out of this stuff. I thought we had seen the end of our "running from snipers" days when we moved out of Manassas. Today, I found myself walking into Starbucks with the exact feeling I had when the sniper was on the run in the DC area a few years ago.

I heard about the first shooting right away in the morning and then heard the details of the additional shootings as they unfolded, while I was working at Starbucks. We were the only place open in downtown Blacksburg. It was a mixed feeling of being upset we were still open, but proud that we were not going to let fear shut us down.

As the casualty numbers began to rise, I thought at first they were merely talking about injuries, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I realized they were talking about deaths.

As of now we don't know if we know anyone hurt or killed. We have heard of 2 people who are in our various ministry connections that are "missing", and we are hoping it is just a loss of confusion in the midst of almost no cell phone connection and scattered individuals.

We have allowed our phone number to be posted on Virginia Tech's InterVarsity's web site (a college ministry I have been involved with for over 10 years) and as a result we have gotten calls from all over the world. Just tonight, Jeff will be on the morning radio show for a Christian radio station in New Zealand. We have opened our house to students who need to get away from campus or parents who need a place to stay (there are many coming to town just to give their kids some comfort). Tomorrow we will babysit a bunch of kids as their parents attend a campus memorial service and we are hoping to host a dinner for students tomorrow night. We received a call from CNN asking if they could get footage of any prayer vigil or student gathering we hold, so we will see. We are trying to do our part to be there for others.

A dear friend of mine from high school (thanks Chris M.) turned me on to a book called "A Prayer for Owen Meany" by John Irving, which they later made into a movie called "Simon Birch". (Not nearly as good as the book) Basically, the essence of the story is that this misfit kid who never really fit in in life and spent a great deal of time alone develops this set of quirks and repetitive things that he likes to do. Sometimes it is the same types of disappointments repeating throughout his life. At the end this specific set of events form a major tragedy and Owen must use his long history of gifts, disappointments, quirks and will to save the day. He realizes his life full of disappointment and adversity prepared him for this moment. I felt like Owen Meany today. I understood grief in a depth I would not have known a year ago. I prayed in a way I could not have prayed a year ago and I understand the darkness the heart feels with such unexplainable pain. I guess I can thank cancer for that. I huddled around these students at this prayer vigil and was able to remove myself enough from the situation to truly be there for them. It was a good feeling.

Thank you for those of you who have contacted us. Please continue to pray for us as we try to comfort others. Please pray for Jeff as he wrestles with the tragedy that happened in a building he had many classes in and most importantly, please pray for the families of the victims.

Kat

See my life could be more stressful -- life lessons from nature

I had to post this. We have a stubborn bird that is always sitting smack dab in the middle of the driveway when we drive in and out of our new house. Today I walked up the driveway and found out that she had LAID EGGS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DRIVEWAY! I am not sure what we are going to do when her chicks come.

On a spiritual level it made me realize how much life there is in the midst of the chaos and danger of the world. Boy, I thought my life was stressful, no wonder why she is so upset everytime we drive in and out. I wonder how many of us have cars driving over the top of us when we are just trying to be quiet and raise our families.

Kat

Its turns out all the king's horses and all the king's men, can put Humpty Dumpty back together again...

Or at least all the "Dr. Right's" and his fellows and residents can put Kat back together again...

This blog entry is a huge praise for the miracle of modern medicine and plastic surgeon's that are artists. I spoke in my last entry about finding "Dr. Right", Dr. Scott Spear at Georgetown University Hospital in DC. Jeff was not able to go to Northern Virginia with me for the surgery, because Bethany got strep throat after being on an antibiotic for a ruptured ear drum (I am not sure how that happened, but after 5 days out of school they needed to be home to go back to school.) So Liam and I ventured off for the 4 hour journey to my mom's house, with at least a week's worth of clothes, because I just didn't know what my recovery would be like.

On March 9th I went under the knife once again. Dr. Spear entered the pre-op room with no less than 7 people in tow. There were fellows and interns and residents and nurses. The people just kept filing in. I guess that is part of what comes with having surgery at a teaching hospital, you get a village, not just the chief. It was kind of cool to think that all of these people were coming together for several hours just to make sure I had nice looking breasts again. My dad got up at 5 am and hung out at GU all day just to take care of his little girl. He even had a conversation with a dear friend of mine (a fellow young breast cancer survivor) who lives in Georgetown and came to check on my progress. Meanwhile, mom was home chasing Liam the wild man, around in circles.

The surgery was scheduled to take an hour and a half, but actually ended up being 3 hours because he had to do some muscle fixing, suturing and rearranging once he got in there. It also ended up being quite a bit more painful then I had bargained for. Pretty close to the pain I experienced after the initial mastectomies. Anytime you are operating on muscle, you can pretty much guarantee you will have a lot more pain. Even now, 3 weeks later, I still feel some tightness and pain when I stretch or lay on my sides. It will pass eventually.

WARNING...detailed Breast info in the next paragraph...

So you are dying to know.....how do they look? THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Jeff and I have both come to the conclusion that they are possibly better looking than my pre-cancer breasts. Yes, they really do look that good. Dr. Spear is truly an artist. I don't know where he stands spiritually, but if God gives out the gift of crafting nice breasts, Dr. Spear has it. He was able to do things I didn't even think was possible, like making my previous scars almost undetectable. I did come out of surgery with a lot more pain and two drains (two tubes and bulb shaped plastic balls that go inside your incisions and drain excess fluid, you have to empty them several times a day.) They are just as gross as they sound. Fortunately, I only had them in for 3 days (after my mastectomies it was over a week). All that being said, it was totally worth it for the results. I am now the living embodiment of "no pain, no gain." I am probably about a small "D" cup now (bigger than my natural breasts, but so pretty if I do say so myself)

BACK TO GENERAL TALK AGAIN....

I have tissue expanders in and will have to wait until the fall to switch them back to silicone implants again. One, because the Dr. wants to let them settle out and see what adjustments might need to be made and two, since they FDA has approved silicone implants for everyone now, now there is a several month waiting list for the Dr.'s implants of choice. bummer.

Now, I am recovering and trying to get back to normal again. Not just a "new" normal after cancer, but the good old fashioned normal of laundry, getting grass to grow, changing diapers (yes, no luck on the potty training front yet) and running errands. Its funny how much you miss this normal stuff when it gets taken from you for a few months, so try to find a little joy in these things, if just as an homage to all us cancer survivors out there.

Thank you for your ongoing prayers. Please pray for my family and friends as two of them have a double mastectomy and hysterectomy coming up. I am just tired of surgeries for me and those around me. I don't want to be the resident expert on these things, but I seem to be a lot lately, and its not something I want on my resume.

blessings to you all
Kat

Paging "Dr. Right"

OK, so my last surgery was a plane crash. A fiery inferno that landed on my chest with extra scars and a flat chest, but I still walked out of the wreckage. Let's just say, I decided not to fly that airline anymore. After December's surgery I decided to put on my medical student hat again and learn everything there is to know about breast reconstruction after mastectomy. I did this kind of research with my oncology, chemo, choice of surgery, and I did not do this for my plastic surgery and reconstruction. I really have no regrets about this though. I know if the same situation presented itself again, but I have the knowledge I do now, I might not have made any different choices. At the time I had to decide about my reconstruction, I just wanted the cancer out. So I focused on getting the cancer out with the right general surgeon and keeping it out with the right treatment and oncology plan, but I did not do my research on what I really wanted and more importantly, what I could get or was reasonable to expect from my reconstruction. I don't beat myself up about this, I just chalk it up as lesson learned and hope that by sharing what I have learned with other women (like the women on my favorite Breast cancer site, or my online support group) that I can help prevent them experiencing some of the same disappointment I had.

I could write a whole blog on what I learned not to do through the reconstruction process, and I will in the future, but for now I will share with you my personal process that I have arrived at in the last few months.

After December's surgery I decided to research the literature and cancer sites to find out who was the best of the best in terms of breast reconstruction. There are some who specialize in different types of reconstruction, so I was looking for the Dr. who was the best at breast reconstruction from implants. All of my research and looking at who authored some major studies on the subject, kept leading me back to one man, Dr. Scott Spear in Georgetown, DC at Georgetown Hospital. I called for an appointment and had one scheduled for the weekend I was going to be in town anyway for a breast cancer conference with Young Survival Coalition. Last weekend, we had this conference (an amazing weekend for me) -- more on that later. Monday morning Jeff and I braved the 6 inches of snow they got in the DC area the day before and met with Dr. Spear.

You can tell when you have entered the office of someone in high demand because we had to go through several "layers" of staff and interviews before he would see us. I was told to sit in a very specific chair (Jeff and I had to switch places) and they had very specific methods for doing things. I had been warned that Dr. Spear was all about business and not a small talk kind of guy. I was totally OK with this. He doesn't have to be my friend as long as he is great with a scalpel. I imagine if I was earlier in this process or had just been diagnosed, this might be more of an issue, but it wasn't for me.

My prayer for the last few weeks has been that I would walk in there and he would say, "We can absolutely get you the breasts you want" with no hesitation. Several people have asked me what exactly is wrong with my breasts now, is it just that they are too small? The answer to this question is No, its more than that. (Warning: Boobie details coming)....I was told I would never be able to have breasts as large as I had before cancer (a full C cup) because the implant was behind the muscle you could only go so large. I have since learned this in not the case, it just requires different techniques in getting the implant in there. So I would like to be as close (or maybe a little bigger, wink, wink) to that previous size I was before. Dr. Spear said, No problem. Second, my breasts are VERY far apart right now, at least 6 inches apart. The edge of my implant is actually under my armpit. I was told that I could not get them any closer without damaging the pectoral muscle or keeping them behind the muscle. I have also since learned that this is not the case. I want cleavage again. Dr. Spear said, No problem. Third, I have some "hills and valleys" on the overall breast shape (one huge valley on the left side) that need to be rounded out to look more breast shaped, Dr. Spear said No, problem. In fact, he said in the final surgery he sometimes uses body fat from other parts of the body to fill in any of these type of imperfections. (So you mean I might get a small liposuction out of the deal? SIGN ME UP!) Lastly, I had two more large scars on my chest from my second surgery. I had understood that I was going to have additional scars, but I I thought they would be small inch long incisions, instead they are 3 inch incisions and quite large. I have since learned that going through the original incision is the common practice for final implant placement and has been proven to have little or no affect on infection or incision healing. Unfortunately, there is nothing Dr. Spear can do to get rid of these additional scars, but he can do all my procedures from here forward through my original mastectomy scars and perhaps clean them up a little along the way. Three out of four requests is not bad. I realize there are some people reading this blog who may want to know what my breasts look like now for the sake of your own reconstruction journey or perhaps to share with someone you know going through this journey. If that is the case, you may email me and I will be happy to show you pictures of my current chest. I will admit it is something I am embarrassed by, but I think is important to share with others on this journey, because I wish I had seen the good with the bad when I started on my own journey.

How will he do this? I guess cancer is a lot of "one step forward, two steps back" at times. He gave me the option of having one more surgery where he puts in a larger implant, but admitted I would not likely have the cosmetic results I would desire. He is 5 hours away from me, so logistically this presents additional issues in terms of future surgeries and follow-up appointments, but I know now that it is worth taking some additional time to get things right. I have learned one thing very clearly through cancer. It is much easier to live a life of patient decisions then of distant regrets. With that being said, we decided to go back to tissue expanders. Goodbye, nice soft implants, here comes large rocks on my chest again. Then after several more large (and likely quite painful) expansions I will have enough stretch of my muscle and skin to get the best situation for Dr. Spear to work with.

So where does that leave me? I decided Dr. Spear was "Dr. Right" and his DETAILED measurements of my chest and outlining my plan from this point forward showed me that he really knows his stuff and was creating the best plan for me. He normally has a 2-3 month waiting list for non-emergency surgeries of this type, so I went out to meet with receptionist and get on "the list". THIS IS HOW I KNOW OUR GOD IS A PERSONAL GOD WHO CARES ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS....His receptionist told me he had a cancellation for THIS Friday, March 9th, would I like the slot? I jumped at the opportunity, and signed up. So, this Friday, we will travel back up to NoVA and I will go under the knife for surgery number 5 in this cancer journey. He will remove my current implants, and replace them with wider, larger tissue expanders. He will also create a bigger cavity and bring the expanders closer together so I can have my cleavage again. Look out Pamela Anderson, I am going to give you a run for your money.

So how I am feeling about all this? Let's just say, I am cautiously optimistic. The thing about cancer is that it sucks the hope out of you every chance it gets. Cancer is not just a malformation of cells, it kind of malforms your hope and spirit sometimes too. I want to be excited, but I feel like I just can't let myself get my hopes up again at this stage of the game. It doesn't mean God is any less a God, or that he can't do this thing to make me feel whole again, but I often wonder if maybe he just doesn't want to. So for now I sort through what it means to be "in process" from a physical and spiritual stand point. I imagine this is what a lot of people must confront when facing down serious physical changes, and I must continue to glean from this process what the Lord wants me to write on my heart through all this.

I wonder if this is why he chose diseases like leprosy in the Bible to teach us so much about his healing power. It is such an outward disease that ravages the body, but once his healing comes down, we can see such power in the transformation.

As for my conference this past weekend. It was for Young Survival Coalition (YSC) it is a breast cancer organization dedicated to women with BC under 40. It has been my free therapy for the last 10 months (wow, has it been 10 months already?) and I have corresponded with a core group of women online that have going through this same journey at the same time I have. I got to meet about 25 of these women for the first time in person on this weekend and it was like a family reunion. One woman in particular, Teresa, has become like a sister to me as she was diagnosed at the same time I was, did a double mastectomy like me, went through chemo with me, and is going through the reconstruction process too. Our personalities have clicked on line and I had wondered if that would translate to real life. We met up at the conference and within minutes you would have thought we were long lost sisters reuniting. This time strengthened our friendship and cemented the fact that I will have a friend for life that has been through this journey alongside me. Also at this conference, were doctors and scientists sharing about where we are in the fight against BC, what is on the horizon, and what we still need to figure out. This was awesome to hear what they are learning, but disappointing to hear that very little of it applies to my type of cancer. Its just the nature of the beast that I developed. Being "triple negative" (hormone negative and HER2 protein negative) means that I cannot make use of future therapies that address hormone levels or HER2 levels, because it has nothing to do with my type of breast cancer.

For the record, some of you may have heard about a Norwalk virus outbreak at a Breast Cancer conference in DC last weekend, unfortunately, that was our conference. I was not personally affected at all but about 100 of my fellow conference attendees were. Since there were some women there still in treatment, this is a scary thought.

So that is the latest stop on the cancer train, I will update you all after my surgery this weekend. Please pray for this new surgery, my recovery, my doctor, and the balance of how often to go to NoVA, when to pull Bethany out of school for all this and the concept of getting back to normal again.

Kat

Goodbye Wig, you were a good ship for the journey...

Well, its time. No more bandanas, no more hat disguises (saving the hats strictly for the cold weather now) and no more wig. I made the decision last weekend. My hair is grown out to the point that it is a short "pixie" cut and my days of being in denial about having short hair for the next few months, are now over. I ran out of "wig hairspray" last week and I took it as a sign from God that it was time to ditch the wig and bandanas and just embrace the new me. This was a MAJOR emotional hurtle for me. I feel like I am in the midst of that dream where you show up to work or school naked. I have never noticed people staring at me as much as I do now. My first reaction is usually belligerent, like I should turn around and scream, "take a picture, it lasts longer." I know all that crap about how you are not supposed to care what other people think, but I would be lying if I didn't admit I do. I wonder if they think I am some crazy progressive chick who chose to embrace her Demi Moore, GI Jane side and do this to my hair on purpose. I wonder if they question my gender or my sexuality. Yes, I know all the junk about how this shouldn't matter, my physical self is not where my identity lies, blah, blah, blah. The truth is, not only is there some identity for all of us based on our physical selves, but for me I have been forced to define myself for the last 6 months almost solely on what my body has chosen to dish out (or not dish out) on a daily basis. Its largely been out of my control and it has been DRAMATIC changes.

I struggle a great deal with my femininity. I have never been a "girly girl." I would classify myself as somewhat of a tom-boy, but now that I have had my boobs and long locks taken from me, I feel the need to scream from the rooftops, "I AM STILL A WOMAN, I LOVE BEING A WOMAN, I EMBRACE BEING A WOMAN, I WANT OTHERS TO KNOW I AM A WOMAN!!!" I find myself upping my makeup usage and putting more jewelry on just to feel feminine again. Sure there are plenty of women out there who are flat chested and have short hair and pull both of those things off quite eloquently, but its the suddenness of all this and the lack of control that throws off my balance so much. I have not had short hair since my early elementary years and I find it quite high maintenance. I had to ask a dear friend of mine, "How does one deal with 'bed-head'?" I am now putting all these waxes and gels in my hair that I never experienced before. I am anxious to color it and make it my own again.

On a side note, my hair grows quite quick. All those years of belly aching about plucking and shaving, mono-brow avoiding and thick hair has served me well. Of all my dear breast cancer buddies following through this journey alongside me, none of them have hair growth even close to mine. I am likely double what they have. I will never again complain about my hair, never. If you ever hear that from me, punch me, I deserve it. My eyebrows have completely returned and I didn't realize how the thinness of my eyebrows had made me look so gaunt until I look back on my pictures from the last few months.

I am amazed by how much time I have now. I had not really grasped how much time dealing with cancer really takes. I had mentioned in my last blog that I was quitting Starbucks, largely because I felt like it was so time consuming. However, now through a significant raise, reduced hours and a new sense of the value of my time I have decided to stick around, realizing it is not quite the burden I had felt it was before. As a side note, my brother Matt got hired as a shift manager at my same store and is now technically my boss. (I know, for those of you who know us, that is a chuckle.) Not that he is not able, but as his "big sister" I take to bossing him around sometimes. I have really enjoyed having him around and I am proud that he is becoming a coffee lover. Still can't get my dad off that nasty instant stuff though, go figure.

I have some projects in the works. I have returned to graphic design work (if I hadn't mentioned that before, I do graphic design work for some of Jeff's web clients. Our personal side business for this stuff is called "Willow Pond Designs", named after the pond with a willow in the middle in our backyard.

Speaking of backyard, OUR HOUSE IS AMAZING! I won't lie, it is everything we wanted it to be and more. It was definitely a labor of love, but it already feels like home. We have been trying to open its doors to use as much as possible with small groups, super bowl parties and gatherings. We hope many people will find their way through our doors for decades to come. We prayed that it would be a blessing to all who enter, because we know all too well that it is a gift and every gift on this earth is temporary. Maybe on my next post I will try and post some pictures. I am trying to stop feeling bad for how beautiful it is, and embrace that the Lord has allowed us to have this responsibility of this house so that we can use it for his work and his glory. We have tried to communicate to everyone we can that this house is open for ministry, storage for the church, group gatherings, parent guest room, whatever blesses them and advances their work for the Lord. To all of you we extend and open invitation to come spend some time down here in our little peace of country, watch Bob the resident Blue Heron come for his daily visit in our pond, the family of 6 deer who love the grass over our drain field and the beautiful mountains that surround us on all sides. If you need some time away from your chaos, give us a call.

As for an update on my surgeries, doctors, etc. I have two appointments with 2 of the top plastic surgeons on the East Coast at Georgetown Hospital and Johns Hopkins, at the end of February. Both specialize in breast reconstruction and revisions of breast reconstructions that people are unhappy with. Please pray that I would be guided to the next step in my reconstruction journey, to help me regain some of my womanhood again. My hometown plastic surgeon has been quite gracious in making it clear that he would work alongside either of these surgeons to do my follow-up care with future surgeries. I appreciated this gesture immensely, and it made me feel like he had my best interests at heart.

Lastly, I just celebrated my 32nd birthday on January 28th. It was a very emotional weekend for me that I kept pretty close to my vest. I woke up that morning just thankful for the chance to have another year of life. I fought tears most of that weekend, but didn't really share that much with my family who came together to make my favorite spaghetti meal and share my favorite ice cream cake (Ben & Jerry's coconut almond fudge chip) I am pretty sure if they have food in heaven, those two things will be on the menu. So much of me wanted to be spoiled and pampered and have everyone scream, "I AM SO GLAD GOD HAS GIVEN YOU TO US FOR ANOTHER YEAR!!!!", but I didn't know quite how to verbalize that feeling mixed with wonder of what the future holds. I love birthdays, I always have, and I know I will even more now that each one represents such a tangible gift to me of how much of a gift life is.

Blessings to you dear friends,
Kat

updated family pics february 2007

My bowling star, even though the ball is almost bigger than she is.

Me and Mom on my birthday when she made my favorite homemade spaghetti.

My Liam cutie-pie.

My recent hair style (not that I have much choice on the style part.)

Where the heck have I been?

I know many of you have been wondering if I fell off the face of the earth. I know there is a little part in some of you that was wondering if anything bad happened, but was afraid to ask. I know this because some of you emailed me asking that question.

Well the good news is that I am doing fine, cancer is still at bay, its just been a really crazy few weeks. So this will likely be a longer then normal blog as I try and fill you in on all the events of the last 6 weeks since my last chemo. It has been quite a roller coaster of events.

Thanksgiving was good. We went to Northern Virginia to stay at my mom's house for the holidays and so that I could participate in the Northern Virginia Handcrafter's Guild annual craft show. I had been furiously making soap the last few weeks in our apartment kitchen to prepare for the show. Last year, it was my best show and it is the only show I was able to participate in this year, so I was anxiously awaiting this 3 day event. It was a wonderful show. My best show ever and I sold almost 600 bars of soap. I also had many visitors of my wonderful support system and friends I had not seen in years. It gave me warm fuzzies all around and was a wonderful confidence builder to my craft and my heart.

We returned home to a mad dash of finishing the house so we could move in before my December 19th reconstruction surgery. I worked for 25+ hours a week for the next few weeks coming to the house to coordinate last minute items from numerous contractors. We focused our efforts mostly on the items that needed to happen in order to get an Occupancy Permit. We figured the other cosmetic stuff could be adjusted over the next few months. We booked the movers for December 15th (the last possible date before my surgery) and prayed that the inspector would give us the OP on the 14th. We had no wiggle room, because if he didn't pass us that day, we would not be able to have him back for reinspection until after my surgery. We called the movers to plan the move and didn't anticipate they would be booked this time of year, but found out they were. I panicked and then humbly played the cancer card. Well, technically Jeff played the cancer card. The movers called back to see what our options were for moving dates in January and they asked if we had our hearts set on being in by Christmas. Jeff said, "its not Christmas as much as my wife is having a cancer surgery on December 19th, and it would be a real blessing to be in by then." They called back within minutes and explained they would move us on December 15th! God is good. They are great movers. Both our experiences with them have been amazing. So if you are in Southwest Virginia and need a moving company, I will give a free plug to Crowning Touch Moving in Roanoke.

We moved into our house, moved our stuff out of our old apartment and then the following day Jeff's parents arrived from Florida. They were a huge blessing to us in helping unpack, watch the kids and give us a relaxing and fun Christmas. We had a really nice visit with them. We put our tree up quickly (it was one of the first things we unpacked) so we could have some semblance of Christmas normalcy.

So what about that surgery, Kat? Did you get those "Christmas Boobies" you were hoping for? Well, in a nutshell, the surgery was good and bad. The surgery itself was uneventful. I had very little pain (most of my chest is completely numb from my mastectomies) and no nausea from anesthesia. Both, good things. I did spend the night in the hospital so I could have IV pain meds and IV antibiotics. I tried a new pain drug this time (instead of morphine, which makes me itchy all over and kind of yucky feeling) called Dilutin (Spell?) Well, it was good stuff. As my plastic surgeon put it, "its what I want to spend my last two weeks of life on." However, by the night of my surgery my blood pressure had dropped dangerously low and they took me off of it in the middle of the night.

I did not see my new breasts until the next day because of all the bandages and dressings. I went to the plastic surgeon's office and he took off my dressings. I was tired and groggy from a night of little sleep and post surgery effects, but still excited to see the "new girls". I looked down at my chest for the first time and my very first thought was, "where are they?" I looked just as flat as I had after my mastectomy and I was shocked and confused. My surgeon explained that he had to put in smaller implants then we had discussed. I have to admit I was more upset then I was when I saw my chest after my mastectomy the first time. That time, I knew what was coming and had expectations of the worst, plus I was happy that the cancer was out and I had no lymph node involvement. This time I had expectations that they would be misshapended for a while as they settle into place, but I did not expect that I would be basically flat chested again. I am basically an "A" cup at this time, and this was even harder since I was a good "B" or small "C" by the time my expanders were done being filled.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. Even Jeff had to drag it out of me and I mourned (and am mourning) even now. I didn't want to post an update on my blog even though I know many of you had so anxiously awaited alongside of me a good outcome. I was upset that I even bothered with reconstruction and all the pain and discomfort that came with the expansion process over the last few months. I beat myself up for not doing the same amount of research that I had for my chemo and treatment, though now I realize I don't know if I would have done anything different.

I was a little frustrated with my surgeon that he didn't seem to sense how devasting this really was for me, but I also didn't share that with him.

So where does this leave me? Well, more surgery. I can go back and have a "revision" which means I can have larger implants put in. I don't exactly understand why they could put in larger implants later, but couldn't now. I have saggy skin that could be filled with a bigger implant, but it will really come down to what my muscle can do, since my implants are behind the peck muscle.

I can not do anything for several months until I have recovered from this surgery and can see how my current implants settle into place. However, I know they are not going to "grow" any, even if they do become more "breast shaped" in how they sit.

I struggle with getting second opinions. I like my plastic surgeon and his team of assistants, but I know I now have to do what is right for me and my eventual outcome. So I have made an appointment with one of the top reconstruction plastic surgeons in the country. He is in Georgetown, DC. He is a hard appointment to get and I won't see him until the end of February. He specializes in difficult reconstruction cases. Four of my online friends have seen him 2 for their original reconstructions, and 2 for their revisions and they are all extremely happy with the results. I will let you know how this appointment comes out in February.

For now, my hair is coming back (I have about 1/2 inch) and we are unpacking boxes. I am trying to return to a sense of normalcy and real life post-cancer. After much thought and prayer I have decided to quit Starbucks when the students return for the next semester (mid-January) it is just time for me to focus on other things and have more of an at home routine with Liam, Bethany and Jeff. I want to focus on ministry, homemaking and a daily devotional for women going through Breast cancer.

In February I will attend a conference for the Young Survival Coalition, the online support system that I have lived on for the last few months. It is an organization that focuses on women with Breast Cancer under 40. It has been my free therapy the last few months and the women on that site have become like sisters to me through this journey. Last night, one of those sisters, Cheryl Garcia, lost her battle with breast cancer. I wept as I read about her passing and it was a cold reminder of how much cancer sucks. She leaves behind 2 kids and she shared with us in the last few weeks how she had focused all her energy on making birthday and Christmas cards for her kids for the rest of their lives. We raised money to pay the costs of a pain pump her insurance wouldn't cover and I learned first hand how painful this journey is. Young Survival Coalition is an amazing organization and if you are ever looking for a group to give some donation money to, they are a good one. You will see a link to their site to the right of my blog on this page.

Jeff's job continues to flourish and our house is amazing. Jeff's dad continues to respond amazingly well to hormone treatment and prayer. He is thinking about removing some of the cancer through surgery next year, and he is trying to decide which surgery is best for his cancer.

Well, that catches you up on me for the last few weeks. I will post pictures when I can of my current hair, the kids, the house, etc.

You all are a blessing to me. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. To the year 2006... "go away, don't come back, don't let the door hit you on the butt on the way out, I don't want to see you again. "

Our new address is: 1107 Arrington Rd. Blacksburg, VA 24060. Copy it down, because I will pull it off this site in a few days.

Kat

Now to getting on with life.

(me and my dear nurses: Susan, Susan, Me & Christine)

Who knew you could have a good day the same day you had chemo, but guess what? It can be done. I showed up to my last chemo all decked out in my pink breast cancer shirt, socks and sweater. I came bearing soap gifts for the nurses and coffee gifts for my doc. Complete with two bottles of sparkling cider for me and Barb (my chemo buddy) since it was the last day of chemo for both of us. The chemo itself was routine (though I never wanted to find such an awful thing as "routine" the reality is, routine is a welcome thing because it means I had no problems) I have a huge praise that my counts have not dipped down once during my entire chemo run and I have since learned that is is quite unusual. Some of my friends have been delayed or incompacitated by low counts and I have not really experienced either. A big praise and thanks for prayers on that one. My recovery from this last chemo will likely be longer because I could not have the $6,000 Neulasta shot I normally get to force my white blood cell count to rebound, because it would interfere with my surgery to have my arm port removed. Since my port is actually coming through my arm, getting it out as soon as possible was important.

So here is the really cool things about my last chemo. My parents brought me lunch and sat with me until the end. There is no substitute for having your Mommy and Daddy around, even at 31 years old. My chemo buddy, Barb, gave me a beautiful hand crocheted pink scarf. My doc and nurses had tears in their eyes as they said, "goodbye" to me and this made me feel so warm and fuzzy. I got to ring the "done with chemo" bell they have in the treatment room. (see picture) It has a poem on it that reads, "To celebrate this day, As I go on my Way, I ring this bell, for I am well, My treatment is done, and I can say I have won."

My last chemo fell on the same day as my sister's birthday and even though all the focus should have been on her, she did something very cool for me. She had 24 pink balloons when I got back to her house. She gave some to each member of the family (small & big people) and everyone who could read a verse about hope and prosperity, read them aloud. She had them on index cards. Then we all released our pink balloons into the air as a sign of victory, new beginnings and a bright future. I thought I would cry, but I was so excited about how bright my future looks (combined with pure exhaustion from the chemo) that I didn't cry. I had coincidentally dressed in pink that day and noticed that Bethany, Lydia, Mom and Lara had intentionally dressed in pink for me. It was a moment I will never forget.

It has been 5 days since my last chemo and I am now getting around to updating you all on my last day of chemo. I have been busy making over 1,000 soaps, and this week I got to shrink wrap and price them all. We will be in NoVA for the whole week of Thanksgiving and I hope to see as many dear friends as possible.

My port removal was fine. Once I saw the actual port when they removed it, I was a little creeped out to see how big it really was. The port itself (the part that started coming through my skin) was pretty small, but it had an 18 inch long tube on the end that was threaded all the way through my vein into my heart. (I am glad I didn't know that while it was inside me, the idea is a little unsettling) I have been tired from my last chemo and the site where they removed the port is a little sore, but really not too bad.

People have asked me how I would rate chemo as a whole. I have to say that I faired much better than I was expecting and really did not experience any of the horror stories people had reported or warned me of. I did not throw up once, I was never hospitalized, my chemo was never delayed and my counts were always in normal range. I do not attribute this to luck or good genes (we have already learned my genes are not so good), I attribute it as a whole to YOUR prayers and the Lord's strength. I would wake up some days and feel the prayers shooting through my body, laying on me like a warm blanket, and it felt good. Thank you for that. Thank you for each of you that said a quick or long prayer, sent a note or email and just lifted me up and carried me through this time.

I will continue to update you as I heal, get hair back, and have my "new boobie" surgery on December 19th. Also, we will hopefully be in our new home in the next 3 weeks or so. (keep praying for that). On a side note, you may have noticed I changed the colors on my blog, this is not a light decision. I decided this blog is not about Breast Cancer anymore, but about moving on, breathing new life and being greatful for every regular day that cancer is not a part of.

Love to you all

Kat

No Mo' Chemo'

I'M DONE WITH CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't be more thrilled. Today was my last chemo. This morning I woke up with a little butterfly in my stomach, like I used to get on Christmas morning as a kid. I thought I would cry at some point today, but I didn't, I was so excited all day.

I have a lot to report about the last chemo, but I am totally exhausted now, so I will post my pictures and the details of all the cool stuff in the next couple of days.

Also, on a side note, please pray for a friend "G", (If you are reading this "G", I loved the letter) she is having a biopsy for a "suspicious area" found on her 1st mammogram, on November 29th. She is a family friend and a great personality and their family is in a big transition period. Please pray God's grace on her and their family during this time.

I will give more details later, off to watch "Dancing with the Stars", GO EMMITT! and then off to bed.

Love
Kat

No Mo' Chemo'

I'M DONE WITH CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't be more thrilled. Today was my last chemo. This morning I woke up with a little butterfly in my stomach, like I used to get on Christmas morning as a kid. I thought I would cry at some point today, but I didn't, I was so excited all day.

I have a lot to report about the last chemo, but I am totally exhausted now, so I will post my pictures and the details of all the cool stuff in the next couple of days.

Also, on a side note, please pray for a friend "G", (If you are reading this "G", I loved the letter) she is having a biopsy for a "suspicious area" found on her 1st mammogram, on November 29th. She is a family friend and a great personality and their family is in a big transition period. Please pray God's grace on her and their family during this time.

I will give more details later, off to watch "Dancing with the Stars", GO EMMITT! and then off to bed.

Love
Kat