November has arrived.

Well here I am in November. This may seem like just another month for many of you, but it is a month I have anxiously awaited since June 9th (my diagnosis day). November represents the end of my chemo. November 14th should be my last chemo. November represents when our house should be done. (If not November, very soon after, still hoping). November is when I get to do my one and only soap craft show, which I am so excited about. November is when we get to take our first trip out of this area since I started chemo. November is when I get to go to Northern Virginia and see some of my dear friends.

I am feeling pretty good since Taxol #3. I have had the same aches and pains starting the second day after chemo, but they are mostly tolerable with the right combination of pain meds. I imagine it is very similar to how some of you arthritis sufferers must feel. It is worse when I go outside in the cold (it has been in the 30's and 40's most of this week). So I stay inside as much as I can.

I also started anti-depressants this week. Zoloft, is my drug of choice. It is the same drug I took for post-partum depression after the birth of Bethany, and since I had little side effects (and it is avaliable in generic) my oncologist and I decided to try again. He described how patients often get depressed more as they enter the final phase of treatment. They become scared of the ticking time bomb they feel like the cancer is in their bodies. Especially women like me that are "triple negative" (in other words I have hormone negative and HER neg cancer) which means that I am not eligible for any other treatments (hormone or herceptin, a newer drug) so when I walk out of my last chemo I will just have follow up appointments for the rest of my life. I don't feel bad about having to take the anti-depressants as much as annoyed that I can't just have a normal life again, free from worry. I know they will not cure these worries, but if they can take the edge off of my terror sometimes, I will take it.

As for great news in our lives...Jeff's dad had a follow-up PSA test as a "baseline" before he was to begin radiation treatment this week. He has had two hormone treatments. At the time of his surgery his PSA was 20 and had risen from 17 of just a few weeks before. When they did his test this week it was .17! Not 17, point 1-7! That is a huge praise and a great indication that his cancer is responding to hormone treatment and lots of prayers. They are now deciding if they will have to do radiation at all! For now they will put markers in to monitor any movement of his cancer. This is wonderful news, and if he continues on this trend, he could be on treatments that are quite managable for many years to come!!!

Jeff has been working furiously at his contract work. He has had a flood gate of new work come in. So much so, that he is now having to find sub-contractors to do some of the programming work. He is still programming almost every waking hour, but we are thrilled that God is providing for us and he is still able to be home with the family. We hope to eventually get to a point where he can have more of a routine and less hours behind the computer once we have gotten back on our feet financially and we can built a nest egg for inconsistency of contract work. We are none the less grateful for such a wonderful response from his clients for ongoing work.

Our house is plugging along. Drywall is done. Kitchen cabinets installed. We went to the house yesterday to paint squares in each room to direct the painters on our color choices. We are hoping to have the electrical and plumbing work started by the end of the week. We have chosen and ordered our flooring. The siding is 3/4 of the way done. We are hoping to be in the home by the first week in December, if all the contractors can stay on their schedules. I have taken on the house stuff as a daily job and have spent probably 15-20 hours in the last week dealing with this. We knew this would have to happen, so it is just something that needs to get done at this point. The builder is trying hard to work with us, but only we are the ones overseeing smaller issues that would get overlooked. For example this week I noticed the hinges on all our doors were brass instead of silver tone. I also noticed our garage doors into the house opened into the garage instead of into the house. Small items that a good foreman would have noticed, but now take time to change.

I pray that all of you are enjoying the fall. Please keep praying, I don't need them any less now that I am on the home stretch. I almost need them more.

Kat