How can you resist a cheesy title like that? This week has been a good week on many levels. On Tuesday I had my last AC chemo!!!!! This means I have arrived at the halfway point in my chemo and my next chemo will be a new cocktail of chemicals, called Taxol. (I will describe more about this later) I had the least amount of nausea yet with this last AC. I forgot to take my major expensive ($100 a pill) drugs on the second two days because I was feeling so good. I slept from the time I can home from chemo until the next morning, but then felt much better the next two days.
We had a special treat this week in that Jeff's Dad and Mom were able to visit us for two days as they were driving down the east coast from New Jersey. We didn't tell the kids and they were able to surprise Bethany as she got off the bus. It was a great sight to see her so excited. The day before she had come home kind of bummed saying she had had a "bad day, where some of her friends wouldn't play with her." I insisted we pray that she would have a better day the next day. I told her I had a feeling it was going to be better. When she got off the bus, she said, "Mommy, you are right, today is a better day!" I was out of commission the whole first day they were here, but I was able to visit with them the second day and even felt well enough to go out to dinner. The kids enjoyed their visit. Both Walt and Sue look well and are actively changing their lifestyles and diets to make themselves the most healthy they can be. Walt has indicated no side effects yet from his hormone treatment. They will not know for several months how his body is responding to it, but a big praise for no side effects.
I had my usual plastic surgeon's appointment before my chemo and I got a scheduled date for my "swap out" surgery. This is when he will remove my saline filled tissue expanders and insert my permanant silicone implants. It is scheduled for December 19th, so Merry Christmas to me (and Jeff) I am getting boobies for Christmas this year! I joked last year that I am getting to a point in life where it is hard to come up with things to ask for for Christmas anymore, but this year, I know exactly what I want. If you had told me last year, that this is what I would be asking for this year, I would have laughed in your face. Funny what a difference a year makes, eh? It will be a much simplier surgery then my mastectomy, but I will still likely have an overnight stay in the hospital. I have about 100cc more of "fill-ups" to do with my tissue expanders, right now I would guess I am at about a small "B" cup, for those of you who have asked.
So what is Taxol and how is this different? Both chemo's act like an exterminator would. The cancer is gone from my surgery, but when an exterminator comes they often spray a ring around your house to make sure no critters come into the home. Chemo is similar in that is kills off all dividing cells with the hope that if any single cancer cell got loose in my body before my surgery, the chemo will nip it in the bud. The two types of chemos attack different types of cells. So just as an exterminator would have a different spray for ants and bees, by doing both chemicals we hope to cover all the bases.
Taxol's side effects are usually much more mild. I will have some basic anti-nausea meds, but many people don't have to take them at all. With Taxol I will be dealing more with muscle & joint aches/pains, hand & feet numbness and tingling and a more general achiness. It is said to be easier then AC, yet given the cummulative effects of the AC and then several rounds of Taxol, it tends to get slightly worse each round as your body just continues its battle to recover. The biggest danger with Taxol is allergic reaction, so I will be on a large amount of steroids for the next 8 weeks to prevent this reaction. I am hoping I don't suddenly become puffy and gain a bunch of weight, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did happen.
Jeff is still plugging away at getting contract work. He has had no firm leads for a permanant job locally. (He has had some offers if we are willing to move back to NoVA, but we are not.) He is on the cusp of a whole bunch of contracts that if they all worked out could get us through the next 6 months pretty O.K., but in sales mode, it is all about waiting for the proposals to get through to all the right people and through all the red tape. So we just don't know what will close or not. For now we are ok and he tries to piece together enough work to get us through a few weeks at a time. We both feel that God is opening doors with this contract route, especially since we clearly aren't getting leads for jobs outside the home or local permanant stuff, but the uncertainty is making me admittedly anxious (please note I said me, not him, he has been quite firm in his faith that God will work this out.) I try not to think about it most days, because I know I just don't have the strength to worry about it, but when I do think about it, I wonder what God has in store. For now, I focus on us getting enough work to get me through chemo and into our new house (likely within the same 2 weeks with current schedules.) I am thankful that this contract work continues to allow Jeff to be home and take care of me and the kids, I don't know how we would do it without him. We have settled into more of a routine now with each of my chemo cycles, but he still is working the job of at least 3 people right now with contracts, kids, cooking and cleaning. We just focus on one day at a time, one week at a time.
I can't wait to feel like I am contributing again, playing with the kids, cleaning up the house, cooking. Each of these things requires so much energy, it makes me enter each day with such high hopes of what I will accomplish. Last night I wiped down the kitchen floor, after Liam had totally trashed it at dinner, and by the time I was done, I was exhausted. You would have thought I would have been running or something.
Lastly, please pray for my sleep. I have had terrible bouts of insomnia and even though I am exhausted when I lay down at night, I toss and turn and lay awake for hours on end. It is a common side effect of chemo and is usually related to the steroids that run through my blood stream so much. I have sleeping pills, but try only to take them when I really need to sleep solid, like the night before I work. I don't want to grow dependent on them. It is rough on Jeff because I toss and turn so much and then I am so exhausted, even with the best of intentions the night before, I can't hardly get up to help out with the kids, get Bethany ready for school and just give him a chance to recover sleep himself.
Many blessings to you all,
Kat
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