Much better day

Today was the first day in several days that I did not have to go to a Drs. appt. or do some kind of research. I slept well last night, for the first time in a week. I woke up this morning knowing today was going to be a better day and I was not going to let the fear creep in as it had on previous days. I met a girl on campus that I have been doing Bible Study with in recent weeks. She was one of the last major people in my life that I wanted to tell face to face. We shared about issues in our lives, she just found out she is also facing a major turning point in life related to a recent injury. We read through scripture about healing a strength and frankly for the first time in this process, it really did give me healing and strength.

I struggle greatly as a Christian with the idea of praying for healing. I know Christ heals, has healed and will heal again, but I have a hard time asking for healing because I know that healing is not always his plan for each persons life and that doesn't mean that they deserve it less, or that they have done something wrong, it just means that that is God's plan for that person's life. I did learn something today in my scripture reading though. Healing is not just about the physical body, it is about the heart and that I am free to pray with confidence that God will heal me, I just need to know that sometimes he focuses that healing on the heart rather than on the body. I know God can heal me, and I know He has plans for my life and I am learning to pray that He gives me peace on how he chooses to refine me by fire in the process.

I use to "throw" pottery (that's what you call it when you make pottery on the potter's wheel.) I love this picture of God as the potter and us as the clay. He even refers to it in scripture. When you make pottery you craft it, mold it and trim it. After you remove it from the wheel, it must dry and then you must take this fragile thing and put it in a kiln to fire at thousands of degrees. When it comes out it is stronger, it can hold water and it can function at its best. If you tried to use it without firing it, it would simply dissolve away. I see myself as this pot that needs to be fired to be made stronger and will be better for it.

Here are the scriptures that have given me comfort today. They are all in the "Message" version. For those of you not familiar with it, it is just a more "laid back" translation of scripture that strives to be accurate, but not necessary literally.

Psalm 41 (thanks mom) vs. 1-3 & 10-13 "Dignify those who are down on their luck: you'll feel good-that's what God does. God looks after us all, makes us robust with life- Lucky to be in the land, we're free from enemy worries. Whenever we're sick and in bed, God becomes our nurse and nurses us back to health." & "Meanwhile, I'm sure you're on my side-no victory shouts yet from the enemy camp! You know me inside and out, you hold me together, you never fail to stand me tall in your presence so I can look you in the eye.

Isaiah 43:1-7 "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. when you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end- Because I am God, your personal God, the Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you: ...I want them back, every last one who bears my name, every man, woman & child. Whom I created for my glory, yes, personally formed and made each one."

Matthew 5: 3-7 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are-no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll every eat."

Matthew 6:25-27 & 33-34 (NIV) "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? " "But seek first his kingdom and his righteouness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. "