Back Online...

Hello all. After many days and moving (arghhh) we are back online and settling into our new, somewhat "cozier" new digs. I will refrain from using the expression "smaller place" as I believe outlook is half the battle, but who am I kidding, it is quite a bit smaller.

First, the details...

I start chemo TOMORROW, Tuesday, August 8th. My appointment is scheduled for 9:45 am. Tomorrow's appt. will be longer than most, as they introduce me to the joys that are chemo. Every week's chemo will be dependent on some major factors before they will continue with the regime. So, I will start tomorrow assuming that my white blood cell count is normal (you will here me refer to this A LOT in coming months, as this is one of the most important things in my chemo. (Quick medical lesson, for those of you, who like me, had no idea what all these cell things meant until confronted with the necessity of knowing)

White blood cells (WBC) = germ fighters. The more you have the better, even in healthy people, your white blood cell count will drop when you are about to get a cold, have the flu, etc. Since the chemo will be killing cells (targeting the cancer cells, but good cells get whacked along the way as well) I will have "dips" in my WBC, usually at their 7-10 days after each one of my treatments (assuming I avoid all illness). I will need to have a shot the day after chemo each round to force these WBC into recovery (this is part of doing the Dense Dose treatment) without DD, they would recover on their own in about 21 days. A good count is 3,800-10,800. Any thing lower than that the day I enter each round and they will have to postpone that round until they rebound.

Platelets = blood clotters. We need these to make sure we don't "bleed out" when we are cut. They also repair damage to your blood vessels by helping form blood clots. I had a problem with really low platelets during both my pregnancies. I did not have to have a platelet transfusion, but came dangerously close to having to have one. I am praying this problem doesn't rear its ugly head once again. Normal platelets are 130,000-400,000. During my pregnancy my lowest count was about 30,000.

Red Blood Cells (RBC) = carries oxygen. They need to be 3.9-5.2.

Assuming all of these counts for me are in normal range I will begin chemo tomorrow. The one wrench in the gears is how I am healing from the PICC line I had installed on last Monday. After discussions with the surgeon and oncologist we decided to put the PICC in my arm. (A PICC is a long-term temporary port placed in a major vein or artery that allows them to put in IV fluids, or take blood samples without having to stick me each time, or look for a new usable vein for each round of chemo.) Especially for women, chemo tends to ruin a vein each round. It becomes increasingly difficult to find new usable veins for each round of chemo (especially with 8 rounds ahead of me). The first oncologist did not recommend I have one (I am still not entirely sure why), but others I have consulted with that have had chemo, as well as my current oncologist, all highly recommended one. We decided not to have a chest one installed (which is usually the norm) because the surgeon was concerned it would interfere with my expanders for my future boobies.

So, I had one installed last Monday. I had no problems (it was an outpatient procedure under local anesthetic). Its not what I would call an afternoon of fun, but I was glad to not have to go under general anethesia again ( I would have, had I had a chest port put in). It was sore and tender, but ok, until Tuesday. Tuesday, we started to move. I was told not to lift anything with this arm for several days. I did very well, except I had to lift Liam 2 times. Well, by Tuesday night it was bleeding through the dressing they put on, and the one I put on top of their dressing. (Yah, I know, not a good sign) I will talk more about my God sighting in the midst of this and the move a little later.

I called the Dr. And he told me that I had to lay down on the couch with my arm above me for the rest of the night. This was very difficult for me. Keep in mind, while I was laying there a team of people who had come to help us move were moving heavy things around me and I was literally flat on my back, doing NOTHING! This was tough for me emotionally. I teared up about it several times throughout the night I was tired of having this great spiritual and emotional lessons from cancer, someone else can have the "testimonies" for a change.

Wednesday morning, while the professional movers were at my house with Jeff, I was at the local emergency room getting a dressing change, an antibiotic and an arm sling (not necessary, but given to me so I would COMPLETELY stop using my right arm.) (yes, I am right handed) I went to the emergency room by recommendation of my dr. who put in the arm port, to save me a trip back to the hospital that put in the port (35 min away) so I could go to the local hospital, get the change and be back to the moving process. The port has not bled since. It was a little swollen when the oncologist's nurse looked at it on Friday, but she was confident I would be ok for my first round of chemo. So, assuming it is ok tomorrow, I will be ok to start chemo.

GOD SIGHTINGS....

This is one of my favorite expressions introduced to me by our best friends. It is simply an expression to show how we see God in the folds of our life, sometimes in unexpected places or ways. I have had a thousand of these since June 9th (my diagnosis day). I will focus on the last few days...

Moving sucks. There is no other way to describe it. There can be a move that is better than another, but it is never fun or a "good time". It is never something we long to do when you haven't done it in a while.

"Hey, what should we do on our vacation?"

"I don't know, how about something really fun, like moving?"

"Yah, we haven't done that in a while, it will be so much fun"

At 3:30 I was told to lay on the couch with my arm up. People were suppose to come and help us move at 4:30. I broke down. I was overwhelmed by the task that lie ahead. I was feeling defeated that I felt like God was allowing us to cope with the enormity of things that I didn't think I could handle it. My mom was there (she was leaving to bring the kids to my sister's house for the duration of our move) and she saw me hit my wall. She teared up as I cried and wondered how we would move everything. I felt alone, defeated and worried.

Then God showed up....

He showed up in the form of our church members. He showed up in the form of our real estate agent (equipped with truck). He showed up in the form of more than a dozen teenagers (some quite strong). He showed up with free subs from a dear member of our church who runs a local sub shop, more than enough to feed everyone ---Here is my free advertising for JIMMY JOHN'S SUBS, buy them, they are good--- He showed up in having a task done in 2 hours that we were sure would take us all night. He showed up in my mom who trekked the kids a half an hour away for two days. He showed up in my sister who had 6 kids in her house for more than two days and has NOT ONCE complained to me about taking the kids in the last 7 weeks. He showed up and He showed me up. It was more than I could handle, he knew that, and He handled it.

We have an amazing church down here that has surrounded us since day one of our diagnosis. When we needed people to help us move our stuff to our apartment (not our big stuff, that was done by movers) but people to pack our kitchen, cart our clothes, etc. they showed up. Not only did we need help moving, but we found out the day of our move that our landlord of our new apartment was not going to clean our apartment before we moved in. So one of the ladies small groups went our apt. and cleaned it for us before we moved in.

Our professional movers were also amazing. For those of you who know our story of our move to Blacksburg, you know we had a nightmare move (for those of you who don't know the whole story, just know that they got to our house 6 hours late and the driver had a 40 ounce beer in hand, use your imagination for the rest) These new movers were great. A huge endorsement for CROWN MOVING out of Roanoke, VA. Very fast, very professional. They were done moving our furniture out of our house in 2 hours, we were completely done with the move at 1pm!

Last thing, a bit of exciting news in all this. I got my first "fill up" in my tissue expanders at my plastic surgeon's office on Friday. Not much, 25 cc (future ones will be about 50 cc). I am probably just barely a "A" cup (ok, maybe just a double AA--yes, guys that is smaller than an A), but the boobie seeds have been planted! Just so you know I am shooting for 450-500cc total, this will be a good "C" cup size. I can get "fill-ups" as often as once every 10 days to 2 weeks. We are moving in the right direction for once.

Well that's all for today's report. I will try an update (or have Jeff update) tomorrow after my first chemo. I am including some Disney pics and recent pics so you can see me before I lose my hair (probably sometime in the next 1-3 weeks.)